Roger Ebert complained that "The Pagemaster" didn't teach children about reading, but instead taught them that books are almost as much fun as a cartoon or video game. It features Macaulay Culkin as a boy who is afraid of everything,
until he enters a library on a rainy day. The librarian, played by Christopher Lloyd, sends him to an illustrated world, where the books have magic powers that aid him in a quest to conquer his fears.
About Ebert's criticism - I loved this movie as a kid, and while it didn't make me want to read "Treasure Island" or "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", those books are too complicated for a kid anyway, and the movie captures childhood imagination.
Another common criticism is the animation, which admittedly looks like it was put under a foggy filter. But the idea of an inner world consisting of novel elements, with flashing "EXIT" signs for each genre, combines contemporary familiarity with
unseen ideas. "The Pagemaster" is not the terrible movie it was made out to be in 1994. While the story is thin, it's also 75 minutes, and even if the message didn't come across perfectly, its heart was in the right place.
Available on VHS, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: B-
I initially gave this movie a scathing review, but I changed my mind. Even though many of the jokes don't land, it has an oddly endearing quality. It stars John Leguizamo as a scam artist who owes a Neo-Nazi mob $50,000. After finding him delivering Chinese food with a stereotypical Asian get-up, they offer him a
fake scholarship to lure him to their island. When he arrives, their stereotypical gay son warns him that he is being hunted.
John Leguizamo strangely performs like he drank six Red Bulls, which was off-putting when I first watched it. So why do I still quote the movie? Probably because even though it goes out of its way to offend or gross out, its unapologetic weirdness makes it memorable. "The Pest" is one of those comedies that's exhausting
if you expect traditional comedic timing, because there isn't a single grounded character. But with an open mind, you will find enjoyment in this oddity.
Available on VHS and DVD
Grade: C
In the tradition of "School of Rock", "Ping Pong Playa" follows an immature adult suddenly given the responsibility of teaching kids. This one features an Asian American family, whose 25-year-old son is obsessed with becoming a basketball player, and talks like a stereotypical black person. When he isn't coming up with business
schemes that don't work, he spends his time sleeping and playing video games. All this changes when his mother gets injured in a car crash, leading his father to assign him to take over for a youth ping pong class. His teaching methods turn out to be unorthodox.
Featuring mockumentary storytelling, a quirky rap soundtrack, and swearing that is censored by ping-pong noises, it stands apart from "School of Rock". It also plays on preconceived race conceptions in a funny way. The story leads up to a ping pong tournament, where English opponents defensively insist that table tennis is an English sport, even
though it has Chinese roots. The main character reminds me of someone I went to high school with, so I might be biased, but "Ping Pong Playa" is underrated.
Available on DVD and Blu-Ray
Grade: B
"Pootie Tang" was slammed by critics as a comedy with incoherent dialogue, offensive themes, and a thin plot. It's about a crime-fighter named Pootie Tang, who speaks gibberish yet is understood by everyone. When an evil coporation tries to take away his street cred by tricking him into a contract, he must fight for justice once again.
Where do I start with the criticisms? First of all, not being able to understand Pootie's dialogue was exactly the point. This is a satire of blaxploitation films, where a different dialect of English is exaggerated. This nod to blaxploitation extends to another criticism - the female characters fawning over Pootie. Admittedly, there isn't much story,
but at 81 minutes, it doesn't have time to run out of steam. "Pootie Tang" is an acquired taste, but Ebert and Roeper missed the point completely, and I still find myself quoting it sometimes.
Available on VHS, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: B-
"Priest" was panned by critics, but it really isn't that bad. It takes place in an alternate dystopian future where humans and vampires have battled for centuries, and Priests led the battles, until
religious gated cities were formed and Priests were deemed obsolete. When vampires escape their encampment, a Priest goes against his order to save a family member from a dangerous Outlaw.
The combination of cyberpunk, religious, and Wild West elements gives the movie a unique aesthetic, although I must admit, the Christian cross tattoos on the Priests' faces look kind of silly. While the action
sequences are well-shot, there are inconsistencies in censorship. At times, you will wonder how the movie got away with a PG-13 rating, such as during an animated sequence where soldiers are ripped apart by vampires. But at other times,
the carnage was clearly edited to avoid an R, such as when vampires feed on a Priest, and there's almost no blood. Christopher Plummer surprisingly agreed to the movie, playing a corrupt Clergy official that lies to his people
that the war against vampires is over. "Priest" has elements that make it easy to criticize, but I'm surprised it doesn't have much of a cult following.
Available on DVD, Blu-Ray, and Blu-Ray 3D
Grade: B-
There's a big difference between making a movie that happens to be PG-13, and making a movie to get a PG-13. "Prom Night" is a case study of the latter. It takes place at a hotel, which is hosting a senior prom. But inside the building is a serial killer.
This is an average slasher, apart from the defining characteristic of a slasher - the deaths. They use every editing trick in the book to avoid showing blood. Cutaways, strobe lighting, shaky-cam, you name it. Although the body count is high, and the villain poses a real threat,
"Prom Night" feels less like a legitimate PG-13 movie and more like an R-rated movie made less legible. At least it's short.
Available on DVD and Blu-Ray
Grade: C-
What can I say about "Psycho" that hasn't been said before? Well, the underlying reason the movie succeeds in a big way is because Hitchcock essentially gambled his protagonist, making it stand out in a way that extends beyond the film itself.
It stars Janet Leigh as a woman who steals a large sum of money and drives out of town with it, coming across a run-down motel, which is operated by Norman Bates. He seems friendly, but lives his life at the mercy of his mother, who the guests never see.
Roughly 45 minutes in, Leigh's character is killed off in the classic "shower scene", which works around the Hays Code by making you think you saw a stabbing, even if all you see is the knife in motion and blood in the tub. Black-and-white was used rather than color,
in order to make the blood seem less realistic, but the shadowy lighting and camera angles are what give the movie the atmosphere it's remembered for. I would say more about
Norman's mother, but I think I'll take a lesson from Hitchcock and urge you to see the movie from the beginning. Some have accused it of promoting the male gaze, but I think that the intention was to scare audiences by touching on the concept of voyeurism in a way that the viewer can't run from. If I had one complaint, it would be that there is an explanation scene at the end, which feels unnecessary. Otherwise, "Psycho" holds the DNA that slashers
would borrow for decades, and is my personal favorite of Hitchcock's.
Available on VHS, Betamax, CED, LaserDisc, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: A-