"Kangaroo Jack" was heavily edited from R to PG, resulting in a confused finished product. It was marketed as having a talking kangaroo with street cred, but the kangaroo is barely in the movie, and talks only in dream sequences.
What's left is a neutered action comedy about mobsters having to deliver money to their boss, but misplacing it in a jacket that gets stolen by a kangaroo in the Australian Outback.
During the shootout sequences, the characters miraculously fight by shooting around their enemies. Still, this feels less like a kid-friendly adventure and more like a movie that was aimed at adults, but completely declawed of anything slightly offensive.
"Kangaroo Jack" isn't as bad as its reputation suggests, but it feels like a movie that got butchered by financial incentives.
Available on VHS and DVD
Grade: D
The poster calls this the "most exciting original motion picture event of the year", which is a complete joke. The most "original" thing about it is that King Kong climbs the Twin Towers instead of the Empire State Building. Aside from
this update, which wouldn't age well, you get the same story except with oil miners arriving at Kong's island, rather than filmmakers. The special effects are more polished this time around, but less impressive. "King Kong" is competently made, and
retains the essential elements from the 1933 classic, but it's probably the least
original movie of 1976.
Available on VHS, Betamax, DVD, Blu-Ray, and UHD
Grade: C
Richard Chamberlain was promised by Cannon Films an adventure that would rival Indiana Jones. Knowing Cannon, I'm not sure what he expected, but it sure doesn't rival Indiana Jones!
Allan Quatermain is hired to find a woman's father, who has gone missing looking for the legendary mines of King Solomon, which are said to be filled with riches. They find themselves at odds
with the German military, who want the same thing.
While the cartoonish action sequences and plot cliches are a far cry from Spielberg's trilogy, this movie can best be thought of as a parody of Indiana Jones, rather than a rival. There are stereotypical natives,
over-the-top booby traps, and music that sounds like the John Williams score with a few notes changed. Everything about "King Solomon's Mines" screams low-effort, but with the right mindset, you'll have a good time.
Available on VHS, Betamax, LaserDisc, DVD, and Blu-Ray
Grade: C